we're all so (fake) happy
by bleuboxes
Summary: Lily finds herself sitting the corner of James Potter's basement in her too-tight prom dress nursing a lukewarm beer and trying to find the motivation to get up and get the hell out of here (aka Lily Evans has the prom night from hell). [high school au]


Lily is not having a good time.

She's only here at this stupid after prom party because Mary and Marlene dragged her by her ear yelling about how she should "live a little" and that they only have one more month of high school before they have to go out into the big ole world and forego all fun for the sake of actually having a decent life.

She really didn't have much of a choice.

That is how our dear Lily finds herself sitting the corner of James Potter's basement in her too-tight prom dress nursing a lukewarm beer and trying to find the motivation to get up and get the hell out of here.

Except, Mary's her ride and there's no way that Mary's leaving while she and Marlene are having as much fun as they are with James and his three friends.

There are other people here too; people that Lily wouldn't necessarily call her mates, but she could maybe hold a conversation with a few of them if she really wanted to. But, none of them pay any attention to Lily in the corner.

She tries to convince herself she doesn't mind.

It doesn't work.

It doesn't help that Marlene is laughing at something that Peter Pettigrew has just said while vaguely pointing in her direction. Lily's cheeks grow rosy. She looks down and takes a sip of her beer (which tastes like piss, Jesus Christ).

And, of course, this is where Sirius Black says something loud, obnoxious, and mean and Lily knows it's not about her (because for some odd reason Sirius adores her; she's not sure why), but it still feels like a cheap blow and it takes all of her will power to not burst into tears.

She takes in a shaky breath and feels the sting in the back of her throat and tears threatening to spill.

She can't cry – not here, not now. Not ever in James Potter's house. Not ever about Severus Snape. Lily won't let herself.

Except, it's not up to Lily Evans, and she finds herself hiding behind a curtain of her fire red hair while hot tears spill slowly down her face. Because, yeah, it's her senior prom. Yeah, it's supposed to be what girls dream of when they're small – full of laughs and romance and happy friends –

Lily's was a nightmare. Instead of having the time of her life with her best friend, Severus, he called her a whore and ditched her for his racist pigs he happens to call friends. She was left to third wheel Marlene and Mary, and the only person who really held a decent conversation with her all night was Professor Slughorn.

She takes a deep breath and tries to recollect herself.

It doesn't work, because she remembers that she's at James Potter's house – he's had it out for Snape since the get-go, and she's not sure she'll be able to contain her homicidal tendencies if he has the nerve to tell her "I told you so" about the whole situation.

She lets out five angry breaths and a few more angry tears before standing up and making her way to the bathroom so that she can powder her nose.

* * *

She doesn't make it to the bathroom because to get there she has to meander through the crowd that Mary and Marlene are mingling with, which happens to be James Potter and his friends (or the Marauders, as they call themselves. Lily think's that's a bloody stupid name, and refuses to indulge them). So, Marlene flags her down and calls her over to where the gaggle of them are standing.

Lily looks and feels like garbage; she's not nearly close to being intoxicated, but she feels like vomiting everywhere.

Sirius somehow moves from James Potter's side and to hers, where he wraps one of his arms around her shoulders like mates do. He looks fondly at her – almost like a puppy – and she can't find it with in herself to shrug it off.

She knows that these people can see her puffy, swollen eyes. She knows that the teardrops stained her skin, and she's poise herself in a position that screams for them to ask her what the matter. They all seem to know, however, that the first to ask is the first to die at the hand of Lily Evans (who is known to have quite a terrible temper).

So, they don't bring it up (mostly because they all seem to know what's the matter; Mary isn't one to keep a secret for long).

Instead, Sirius brags about her like a proud mother – how she looked totally bangin' in her green ensemble; how if he was into girls, they'd be married with children already (Lily laughs at this); how happy he was to see her having a fun time dancing (even if was all fake and just to spite Severus).

Sirius makes her feel a little less alone, and for that, she's immensely thankful.

In the midst of that friendly rambling, James Potter and Remus Lupin have snuck off, and Lily is pretty sure she knows what they're up to when the speakers start spewing "Mr. Brightside" and everyone goes fucking crazy.

Lily finds herself in the middle of it. She wants desperately to retreat to her corner, but she can't – Sirius is still holding her – screaming the lyrics in her face is more accurate, and despite herself, Lily laughs and joins in.

This – this is not so bad.

* * *

A few more songs in, James Potter finds his way over to where Lily and Sirius are having the time of their lives.

Lily can't even find it within herself to give a rat's ass that he's here. She just keeps smiling, shouting in Sirius's face and throwing her head back in happiness.

It's not that she doesn't like James Potter – she does; this year they've gotten pretty close; most of Lily's friends are James Potter's, and they've been forced to hang out and be friendly on several occasions.

It's just, he has been particularly nasty towards Lily and Severus in past years (or since they've had the pleasure of knowing each other) and while she's beginning to see that Severus definitely deserved all that he had coming to him, James Potter was still a right prat.

It doesn't help that all of last year he asked her out every time he saw her; Lily's pretty sure he had a bet with his mates on whether or not he could get her to take up his offer, which made the whole situation even more terrible, embarrassing, and humiliating.

But, over the course of this academic year, he's made a complete turn-around, which has surprised Lily. He's been kind to her (with the exception of Severus, that was a taboo topic between the two of them, and she knows he's going to give her shit for what happened tonight), and Lily can't say she isn't happy that he befriended her.

He life has gotten considerably more enjoyable with James Potter in it (instead of being a menace towards it).

* * *

She's not going to bring up the pit of something bitter in her stomach when she heard he asked Emmeline Vance to the prom. She's not going to acknowledge how pretty his eyes look when he's thinking of some sort of mischief to get up to. She's not going to think about how her heart leaps when he grabs her hand and drags her out of the chaos of the basement and up the stairs to his back porch.

The cool air nips at her freckled, sweaty skin. It's welcome – eases her back into what's sure to be a heated conversation between her and James Potter. She doesn't dare say the first word. Instead, she keeps her head fixed on the silhouettes of the pine trees on the horizon, not ready or willing to look at James Potter. She can feel his eyes peering at her, it's a curious glance, she thinks, or maybe it's thoughtful – but she's brought out of that train of thought when he begins to speak.

"I'm sorry about your evening."

"Yeah, well, you were the one that told me Severus was nothing but a snake."

"Doesn't mean you deserve what he did to you, Lily."

It's quiet for a few minutes. A nice quiet, a quiet that's full of something unknown, but not unwanted. Lily hates it.

"Why are you here, James?" She won't look at him.

He laughs something self-depreciating – it's almost enough to tear her gaze from the trees.

"Because you were upset, and I care, alright? I care about you. More than you probably care for me, which is fine – I've been an asshole to you for most of the time that we've known each other." He takes a breath, "And I know you've been waiting for me to rip you a new one about Snape, but _fuck Snape,_ Lily. It's clear as day that he doesn't value your friendship or realize that women can dress however the fuck they want and still be beautiful – you look beautiful by the way –" Lily looks over to him now. He's ducked his head down, and she's crying.

"James," she takes his hand in hers. He lifts his head up to look at her, "you don't have to say anything more if you don't want to."

"I wish I asked you to this stupid prom." He blurts out, "I wish I did, but I thought for sure you'd turn me down like all the countless other times I've asked you out because you thought it was some funny joke or some ruse me and the boys put together just to get a laugh. But it's not – It's not, Lily – "

"James."

"I like you a lot, and I know we're graduating soon and going off to school somewhere and I just don't think I'd live with myself if I didn't at least tell you that my affections for you aren't some dumb prank."

"James," Lily smiles taking his other hand, "you're drunk."

"I don't care." He says proudly, "I'm going to kiss you, if that's alright."

"What?"

"I want to kiss you, Lily – if that's alright with you."

Lily Evans is a brilliant liar, but she can't trick herself into thinking that she hasn't thought about James Potter kissing her.

So, she says yes – against her better judgement because what the hell – she thinks she likes him and maybe she drank a little more beer than she let on. Besides, she's at a post prom party.

And James Potter is a very, very good kisser.

He's tender and sweet and not a tiny bit hungry, which is nice – different from all the other kisses she's shared with people. His hands are still in hers, and the moonlight is gently beaming on his face so she can see that light dusting of freckles that litter his nose.

He's smiling like a mad man.

This is the happiest she's been in a while.

"Hey, James."

"Yes?"

"I might like you too; what do you say we go out sometime?"

He kisses her again – happier and sloppier this time.

"Absolutely."

* * *

And they keep kissing, until Sirius comes up and drags the both of them back down to the basement to show them off. Somehow, they're happiness is his doing – and Lily can't complain – maybe there is something magical about prom after all.

* * *

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